Friday, 24 June 2016
I say this with nothing but love but you are dead to me
Conservative voters, you have destroyed this country.
We’re about to birth the first generation of babies that will be regularly woken by the nocturnal screams of their parents, and you did this with your affordable four-wheel drives, your Coldplay albums, your canvas trousers, your NutriBullet, your rape pornography, your James Corden, your Sky Atlantic, your mistress, your numb smile, your Diazepam, your wanking glove, your weight gain, your constant Googling "does this dream make me gay?", your fear of buttons, your Amazon Prime, your unrealistic goals, your friend with terrible spinal injuries, your secret jealousy of all the attention he gets, your constant fear of cancer, your dream of swimming with a dolphin who will at best feel complete indifference towards you, your tutting at the news, your Gucci belt, the books you have pretended to read, your love of cock, your cock of love, your daughter’s wedding, your first bike, your suicide.
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