Smallville returns with a reliably awful season opener: "You were the one who went Thelma and Louise with the Creature From the Black Lagoon!" and "Attacked by a ninja-clad assassin!" as possibly my standout favorite bad dialogue of the episode, if not the year so far. The mixed-metaphor of film references no-one under forty would make is hilarious enough, but the idea of someone dressed in ninjas is possibly the most awesomest thing ever.
