Friday, 15 March 2019

I try to get my crying done first thing in the morning - get it all out of the way

Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle is probably best summed up by the fact that it is a film titled after a 30 year old hair metal song, or the scene in which the only female character whose explicit skill set is identified onscreen as - and I quote - "killing men" must impede a pair of guards somehow and chooses to do so by doing sexy dances and having close ups of her bum.  Is it even worth mentioning the character is supposed to be a school-aged child?  Eh, I started watching this because The Rock is in it, I don't know that I can be complaining about it being stupid, but sleazy is another matter.
It seems kind of thrown together, there doesn't seem to be any clear message or character arcs apart from "work together because is good", the antagonist is pretty underdeveloped, and it's a bit long for what story there is.
This is - as the kids of 1985 ITV programming say - "naff" stuff, though amusingly the title is so generic that not only has it already been used multiple times for movies and episodes of tv shows to the extent that I can safely say this is not the best film called Welcome To The Jungle, but The Rock was actually in a movie called Welcome To The Jungle in 2003, meaning this isn't even the best film called Welcome To The Jungle which stars The Rock.

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