Wednesday, 24 August 2016

It's Wednesday - don't you have some intercourse to do?

I blame Spartacus for making me think "oh good, John Hannah is in this" when his name pops up in the credits of something or other, but his presence couldn't save the movie Alleycats - at least, I assume he couldn't save it as I could only manage eleven minutes and ten seconds of it before the cast became unbearable to watch.  When they start whooping and driving their bicycles like a bunch of twats around London streets I just thought "no" and turned it off.  To put some perspective on how unlikable they are, I am actually a cyclist myself, but the young actors in this did just too good a job of playing a bunch of cunts.
To be fair, the makers work hard to make you turn the film off, as one of the characters is a smoker, and given the rarity of smoking onscreen these days to reflect the real world, you know this is an aesthetic choice, and that the makers think this will make their character an edgy outlaw from the off rather than simply letting the audience know that the character is smelly and doesn't care much for the concept of personal space.
Basically, Alleycats is a movie for people who hate cyclists and don't want their worldview challenged.

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