Thursday 11 August 2011

Aw hell naw, dawg - he's using my own metaphor against me!

For health reasons, I'm on a diet that excludes alcohol and replaces it with lots of fresh fruit, and I can't say I'm enjoying it - at one point I thought I was having a panic attack because I have that much extra energy.

I miss being hungover at six in the evening, I miss that drink-induced feeling of "fuck it, I don't even care that it's Jeremy Kyle on telly right now, I CANNOT BE BOTHERED TO CHANGE THE CHANNEL" and let's be honest, that's how he's got his audience over the years and it'll be interesting to see how the Tottenham riots have impacted upon his figures because while it's a no-brainer that his entire audience of slack-jawed cider-swilling knuckle-dragging spouse-beating ram-raiders would be out looting, from the tv footage I can see they're all on the rob for bigger television sets, so the figures are kind of like Schrodinger's Cat if you think about it.

In years to come people will be saying Jeremy Kyle made them think about quantum science - between that and China being the new world superpower these are frightening times to be alive.

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